🔒🔑 Why Whole and Not a Fragment

Between Stimulus and Response: The Space That Changes Everything

Dear Why Team member,

I hope this message finds you well and ready to embrace another moment of growth. Because today, we’re diving into something BIG. Something that has the power to change the way you think, the way you lead, and the way you experience life.

We’ve all been told, in one way or another, that we’re part of something larger. A family. A team. A community. And while that’s true, it often carries a subtle, dangerous implication—that we are somehow incomplete on our own. That we need someone, something, some achievement to make us whole.

But here’s the truth: you are already whole.

Right now. As you are. Nothing missing. Nothing broken. Nothing waiting to be completed.

Think about it. From the time we were kids, we were conditioned to believe that our happiness, our worth, our very identity depends on external forces—on belonging, approval, validation. But if you spend your life believing you’re incomplete, you will always be chasing something outside yourself to fill the perceived gaps. And what do we know about chasing validation? It’s exhausting. It’s endless. And worst of all, it keeps you from realizing what’s been true all along: you are enough.

When we step into and start to living this truth, something shifts. We stop trying to force the world into our mold. We stop labeling people as good or bad based on how well they match our expectations. We stop imposing our playbook on others, thinking our way is the only way. True leadership isn’t about control—it’s about living in such a way that others can’t help but take notice. The best leaders don’t demand—they inspire. They don’t force—they embody.

We’ve all heard the Golden Rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. Sounds great in theory, right? But what if we took it a step further? What if, instead of treating people as we prefer, we treated them as they prefer? What if we took the time to understand what actually makes them feel valued, supported, and seen? When we do this, our relationships deepen, our connections strengthen, and our impact multiplies.

Now, here’s the game-changer: nothing outside of you has the power to take away your joy. Read that again. Not your boss. Not your spouse. Not the economy. Not even your past mistakes. The only thing that can steal your joy is your own thoughts about those things. That space between what happens and how you respond? That’s where your power lies. Viktor Frankl, a Nazi concentration camp survivor once said, "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." That space is where everything changes.

Let’s be clear, because it often seems like the opposite is true: thoughts are not facts. Your mind loves a good story. It spins tales about what’s possible, what’s not, what you deserve, what you don’t. But here’s what most people never realize: you don’t have to believe everything you think. The next time a painful thought creeps in, ask yourself—Is this thought serving me? Would I be better off without it? Who would I be if I let it go? Because when you change your thoughts, you change your life.

[As an added special gift to those you forward this WTW post to, and who sign up for our newsletter, they will receive access to my audio book Don’t Believe Everything You Think]

The mind, left unchecked, is a relentless thief—robbing you of joy, stealing your peace, whispering lies of limitation. And yet, ironically, your mind is also the key to your freedom. The thoughts that hold you back, the beliefs that keep you small, the scarcity mindset that tells you you’re lacking? You don’t have to keep them. You can choose something different. You can choose abundance. You can choose to believe that you are already enough.

So here’s your challenge: Notice your thoughts. Question them. Change the ones that don’t serve you. Lead by example. Let your actions be your loudest statement. Let's stop letting our unchecked thoughts steal our joy.

Because the life you want—the one filled with peace, purpose, and leadership—doesn’t begin when you achieve something or meet someone or finally “get there.” It begins the moment you recognize that you are already whole.

I believe in you. I see your growth. I’m grateful for this journey we’re on together.

Make it a great week,

Steve Luckenbach