Dear Why Team member,
I hope this week’s message finds you well and encouraged. This week, we consider:
Thinking to Distraction
vs.
Thinking to Action!
A couple of weeks ago, I shared how, encouraged by my loved ones, I deleted my Instagram account to be more intentional with my time. Time is such a limited resource. Doing so has served me well, as I’ve become more present with my loved ones. I learned long ago: when in doubt or distracted… take action. Be productive, and the momentum will carry you beyond limiting thoughts.
The mind can either hinder our growth or propel it. Rarely does thinking more about troubling thoughts reduce them. Often, more thinking immobilizes rather than energizes. Thinking begets more thinking; action begets more action.
When in doubt, do something productive.
In tough moments, that’s easier said than done—I know. All we want in those moments is to close our eyes and hope that when we open them, all our worries will be miraculously resolved. That desire is what often drives people into “social hibernation.” Yes, sleep is important—but not as a tool for escape. Notice how those suffering from depression struggle just to get out of bed?
Is more time in bed helping, or hurting?
I learned how to get up and go from both my mother and my stepfather. They were both very successful in real estate. While I was growing up, they were building the second largest ERA Real Estate franchise in Florida. My dad went on to become Florida’s #1 RE/MAX agent, at his peak selling nearly 600 residential homes in a single year.
They both had tremendous work ethics. Some might call my dad a workaholic, and yes, that’s a real concern - but it takes great strength and discipline to take action in the face of resistance, and even more, in the face of criticism. Did he face tough times? Of course. But he directed his thinking toward the positive outcomes his extra effort could bring, and then he took action.
If your work has drowned out all other areas of your life, it’s important to ask why, but also to ask why you may be sitting more and moving less.
I admire my parents’ hard work and am forever grateful for the work ethic they instilled in me.
In the last years of my mother’s life, I would often ask her how she was doing, and she would say:
“It was a great day—I got a lot done.”
I’m an advocate for balance, and I’ve found that sometimes just being still is the best thing I can do, as long as I’m in a positive frame of mind. For example, mindfulness meditation has helped me tremendously. This stillness has led to more effective “doing” across all areas of life. But let’s be clear: these times of stillness are for checking in, not checking out. Observing the thoughts that affect the quality of my doing and understanding the why behind my actions, fuels the creation of these weekly posts.
You’ve likely heard the old saying:
“The idle mind is the devil’s workshop.”
Our minds are especially good at protecting us from danger, including danger to our sense of self-worth.
When we take risks, we risk setbacks. How we interpret those setbacks will determine the future risks we’re willing to take.
To make this point during talks, I often ask:
“How many of you have read War and Peace?”
Only a few hands go up.
I then say, “I’ve read War and Peace… I’ve read the first 30 pages.”
That usually gets a chuckle. Then I ask,
“What did I do that most people never do?”
I’ll never forget the first time someone answered,
“You admitted it.”
That caught me off guard—and immediately made sense.
That’s why so many people don’t even try.
Yes, I occasionally hear, “At least you started,” but more often, people focus on the fact that I admitted I didn’t finish.
But… failed?
By what definition?
How we define success greatly impacts whether we’ll feel successful at all. Look at where you are now, spiritually and materially, compared to 10 or 15 years ago. As Dr. Elko often says:
“I’m not where I want to be, but thankfully, I’m not where I used to be.”
Those who don’t celebrate action as much as results tend to take less action—yet still expect great results.
Consider the perfectionist who doesn’t start for fear they won’t finish—or worse, fear that what they finish won’t be perfect. They’ll feel bad about themselves either way. Could this be why fewer people today are setting New Year’s resolutions?
I think so.
No endeavor, no disappointment, right?
Wrong.
That’s a fast track to more fear, anxiety, and regret; for a life not fully lived.
Carl Jung once said:
“Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.”
So, I decided to live fully, and I encourage you to do the same.
If we define success only by the result, we end up fearing unfinished work. We may begin to resent the labor itself, thinking satisfaction can only come at the finish line.
But the truth is: reading 30 pages of War and Peace is more than most will ever do. And if the book is to be finished, those pages must be read.
Yes, finishing what we start is powerful. But if we can’t enjoy the process, the actions, we may stop bothering altogether.
If we don’t celebrate the first steps, how will we ever walk a thousand miles?
Not to mention… life just won’t be as fun.
Disturbing thoughts tend to linger as long as we give them mental space.
Kick them to the curb by taking action toward a worthwhile goal.
Celebrate every bit of that action because small actions eventually lead to big success.
Let go of limiting thoughts and engage your mind elsewhere.
Read a book—and don’t worry about the length.
Enjoy the journey. Every page read is progress, and progress is success.
James Clear reminds us in Atomic Habits:
“You don’t rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.”
It’s the small habits built into your system that carry you forward.
This week, consider counting your daily actions, whether few or many.
List them in your gratitude journal and celebrate progress for its own sake.
Live knowing that success in life is best defined by what we choose to do with our greatest gift of all:
Another day to live.
Make it a great week,
Steve Luckenbach