Dear Why Team member,
I hope this week’s message finds you well and living in contentment.
Consider this word ‘contentment’ and how it is landing with you.
What comes to your mind when thinking about contentment?
When was the last time you felt ‘content”? Do you feel content now?
And if not, why not?
Many have come to believe that being content is counterproductive. And it kind of makes sense, if I’m content, I may not get up and do anything. But notice how this thought is void of content. The thought itself reveals how we may have found our identity more in our ‘doing’ than in our ‘being’. Maybe to rationalize is to tell ourselves ‘rational lies’?!
During a memorable church service many years ago, I heard a message that finally, for me, explained why giving is so important, why giving was such a profound gift to the giver, no matter where the gift was given - be it a gift of time, possessions, or money.
It occurred to me that those who do not give, grasp; they hold tightly to what they are afraid of letting go. Why?
Out of this awareness came a message I still share from stage to this day:
“We cannot give from an empty cup.”
During my early career, I absolutely believed my cup was either empty or certainly not full and overflowing. How we behave reveals how we think about our lives. Giving is the natural result of a life cup filled to overflowing. Some think “just give out of obedience,” - my journey was to ask ‘WHY?’ of course.
Why do I not give?
Why do I hesitate to give?
And I’m not just talking about giving money to a church but giving in general. In fact, I’ve come to notice an impoverishment in those who don’t give and a wealth in those who do. Why?
Could it be contentment?
That minister years ago answered a long-time question for me. I knew giving is good for the church, but why is it good for me? I’m in sales and every good salesperson answers the question: ‘how does it benefit the buyer’ - and in this case, the one giving.
How and why is the giver blessed?
I absolutely believe that ‘why’ questions are far more powerful to personal transformation than ‘what’ and ‘how’ questions. When it comes to giving, we know ‘what’ they want us to do, and ‘how’ they want us to do it, but how about we invest more time asking ‘why’?
It hit me like a ton of bricks when the pastor said, “giving nurtures contentment”!!!
If you want a tool for measuring your contentment, you need only measure your giving.
Those who are least content are those who give the least.
Try that on for size. How does it fit?
“But I don’t have enough” Exactly!! And thus, you’re not content, are you? - until you do have enough - and when you feel you have enough, you’ll give?! Right? In other words, when you are finally content, when you feel your cup is full, and running over, then, and only then, will you give?!
Well, welcome to the crowd. This is how it works for all of us. “Well, the rich have enough to give”. Okay, well why do so many of them not give? Look at how much you have now verses how much you had ten to twenty years ago. You probably couldn’t have imagined then how abundant your life would be now but notice how we keep moving the contentment goalpost in our lives.
Years ago, I read an article that interviewed a very successful group of entrepreneurial women that on average said they would be content when they got to a net worth of 4 million. Years later, when interviewed again, most of them having reached that goal, said they had moved their contentment number to 8 million. Hmm, maybe true contentment is not dependent on a number, but on how we think. And it’s the same for men, maybe more-so.
So, if money won’t fill our cup, what does?
Gratitude!!
“Yea, but if I’m grateful for what I have, I may not work as hard for what I don’t have”
How do I know these arguments? Because I’ve had them with myself.
The idea here that by staying discontented, I’ll be driven to work harder toward contentment - but of course, I don’t want to actually arrive at contentment, or I’ll stop working super hard. Correct?
Well, welcome to ‘The Gap’ mindset as described in the book The Gap & The Gain by Dan Sullivan discussed in our recent blog. What Dan discovered, is that the constant focus on The Gap, so many are trying to fill, led to less success over time, rather than more. When I awoke to all of this about 15 years ago, my early teacher, Dr. Curt Spear said to me, what’s the point of having so much success if you can never enjoy it?
What Dan Sullivan did for his coaching clients is essentially ask the same question. When he got them focused more on The Gain in their lives, how much they had already accomplished, it fueled them more from a place of abundance than from a place of scarcity (a life more focused on The Gap).
Our giving will be limited or non-existent until we are content. The less we’re giving, the more we’re fearing. And it does not matter how much we’re worth. Even those who have very little materially, if they are happy, grateful, and have learned to be content with little, they give. When I delivered pizza back in the 80’s, it was the lower income neighborhoods that gave the best tips. It was the up-and-coming neighborhoods that gave the least. Why? Well, they were up-and-coming, almost there, cups almost full. They were more discontent - but almost there. At least so they thought.
After this awakening, I have given more than ever before, and as a result, felt more content than ever before.
To truly go from Good to Great, we go from Selling to Serving, from Getting to Giving.
It’s a gift when we begin to see more, that all we have is a gift. Well, what are gifts for? They are for giving.
Contentment is not found at the altar of more, it’s found at the altar of gratitude. All the possessions in the world will not fill your cup if you still ‘think’ it’s not full. And until you ‘know’ that your cup is not only full but overflowing - only then, will you give abundantly.
The quality of our life, and the experience of contentment, is wholly dependent upon how we think. While my early years of fearful scarcity-thinking had me successful in sales, it never filled the hole of discontent. When I finally awoke to the abundance in my life, I became content. And I didn’t become less successful in sales, but even more so. It is difficult to be a source of abundance when you are not connected to your own. And the feeling of contentment is priceless.
It is my hope that your membership to the Why Team will help to fill your cup to overflowing. That you will experience more contentment in your life and as a result become even more to those whom you love and serve.
To Revive and Thrive in ‘25, add more than ever, to your gratitude list, to experience more than ever, the abundant contentment to be experienced in this present moment, in this very day of your life - your BEST DAY EVER!!
Make it a great week!
Steve Luckenbach
TRUTH.