Why Better Trades Better Life

The Power of Attention

Dear why Team member,

I hope this week’s message finds you well and making better trades.

Better Trades of what, you might ask?
Better Trades with your most valuable resource - Your Life Time - and more specifically, your conscious awareness.

I recently spoke to my Dad - catching up on our respective lives - he mentioned he had lost some money on a recent real estate deal, and then he shared an axiom of his I learned from him many years ago that has been so helpful to me; he said,
“It only hurts when I think about it”.

Now, if you take a moment to really think on this wisdom, it will be less of a surprise why my dad has been so successful in business. He moves quickly, he seizes opportunity, and if it doesn’t work out, he not only cuts his losses, he doesn’t dwell on the loss; because in the end, the greatest price we can pay for a loss is to dwell on it. When we dwell on a loss, we end up paying more for it, again and again. He learns what he can from an expensive lesson, and then never pays another moment of his precious attention to it.

Consider your painful past experiences - notice how they only hurt when you think about them.

There is much to learn from our painful experiences- they are significant teachers- but if there is no more learning to be had from the reflecting, why choose to repeat the pain?

Now, the brain is a funny thing - soon after a painful experience, it likes to review everything that happened in minute detail, over and over, whether you want it to or not. I remember Dr. Roger Hall stewarding me through a particularly difficult chapter in my life - he said the brain is updating its files; I never forgot that. The brain updating its files kept humanity alive helping us remember and pass on to the new generations’ important survival tips. Though, some updates can really hurt - especially when we find out that what we thought was true is not true. This is why so many can’t handle the truth - the truth can end our life as we ‘know it’.

During these difficult moments in our life, the brain signals danger, and it takes time for the files to be updated. But if you have painful memories that go way back, consider how they only hurt when you think about them - and remember, if they do arise in your consciousness, they will soon be gone. This explains how survivors of extreme violence can still lead a normal life.

I’ll never forget where I was - standing in the Jungle Jim’s grocery store in Cincinnati - when a very painful thought arose in my mind, but, for the first time in my life, I saw the thought as only a thought. It was the ‘thought’ itself that was hurting me. I remember literally saying in my mind: ‘you are only a thought, you weren’t here 5 minutes ago, and you will soon be gone - I will not let you diminish my life’.
It was so empowering, I’ll never forget it - nor exactly where I was when it happened.

Do we not take our bodies to the gym and put them under strain to strengthen them?! How about we consider how our minds, in the gym of life, will be tested. Are we up for the test? Are we up for the lesson? Let’s run less from the test and focus more on learning from the lesson.

There was another moment of my life, I distinctly remember, I was hurting very badly from a betrayal and could not stop the thoughts that were the primary culprit of my pain. Again, I remember where I was, sitting outside a restaurant with some friends who had invited me out. I’m so glad I went despite my emotional pain. At some point during the conversation, as I was focusing more on them than myself, I noticed I had a moment of respite from my mental anguish - and it gave me hope.

It reminded me that it was the thoughts, more than the actions of another, that was truly hurting me. I knew the recent pain was simply my mind updating its files, and once that was done, I would move on with my life. I would not be the victim of my thoughts, but rather the victor over them. Yes, it burns in the moment, but that burning can burn away lies in our life. We all have thoughts that are not true, and it hurts when we encounter the truth - because the truth kills the lies - it means those untrue thoughts must die. But a life built on any lies is a life limited by them - it is the lies that limit what is possible for us, and as most of us have heard, it is the truth that sets us free.

Paying more attention to where we pay our precious attention is absolutely a formula for a life well lived. We get to choose where we pay our attention, no matter how others may demand we pay it to them. This is why boundaries are so important. It is ‘our’ attention, not theirs, they are not entitled to it, and we have the responsibility to invest it well.

Do not buy with your attention what you do not want in your life. When we make better trades with our precious attention, we will live a better life- no doubt about it.

As you move through your days, consider paying more attention to where you are paying your attention - your most valuable resource - and ask yourself ‘am I buying with my attention what I want?’.

Notice those in your life who are not giving you a very good return on your paid attention and ask ‘why’ you keep buying. Learn from the test and pass the test that is being given to you. Value your precious time even more and you will make better trades with it.

Ben Franklin said pour your purse into yourself, it is the wisest investment you can make. I find no better way to accomplish this than to consider more, the value of my time and the responsibility to invest it well. This very blog, being written for you, is so incredibly valuable to me. We teach most what we want to learn ourselves, and knowing the odds are high that at least one member will benefit from this writing, gives my life added purpose and meaning. I believe to whom much is given much is required; and I have received so much in my life. Writing these weekly blogs is right up there at the top of one of the best trades I can make with my conscious time.

Don’t pull weeds, plant more grass!

Where we place the light of our attention is what will most grow in the garden of our mind; shining more of our light of attention on that which we want to grow, also helps kill off the unhealthy thoughts that starve and die from lack of attention.

This week and beyond, I wish for you, even more attention and awareness of this insight:

BETTER TRADES BETTER LIFE!!

Make it a great week!

Steve Luckenbach